Priceless

From an on-line customer review of a restaurant that we are interested in visiting:

"My friend and my fork were dirty. One of them had residue on it."

And (same person):

"I expected chicken in my dinner but there was no chicken in my dinner. I asked the waiter and he said that the chicken went out. I was upset because the chicken went out before I ordered and nobody told me that the chicken went out."

I really, really, really wish that I could make this stuff up.